{"id":1906,"date":"2011-05-27T05:55:11","date_gmt":"2011-05-27T12:55:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/?p=1906"},"modified":"2011-05-26T19:56:39","modified_gmt":"2011-05-27T02:56:39","slug":"joke-of-the-day-may-27th-2011","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/?p=1906","title":{"rendered":"Joke of the Day, May 27th, 2011"},"content":{"rendered":"

Alternate Definitions<\/strong><\/p>\n

Arbitrator \\ar’-bi-tray-ter\\: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.<\/p>\n

Avoidable \\uh-voy’-duh-buhl\\: What a bullfighter tries to do.<\/p>\n

Baloney \\buh-lo’-nee\\: Where some hemlines fall<\/p>\n

Bernadette \\burn’-a-det\\: The act of torching a mortgage<\/p>\n

Burglarize \\bur’-gler-ize\\: What a crook sees with<\/p>\n

Control \\kon-trol’\\: A short, ugly inmate<\/p>\n

Counterfeiters \\kown-ter-fit-ers \\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets<\/p>\n

Eclipse \\i-klips’\\: what an English barber does for a living<\/p>\n

Eyedropper \\i’-drop-ur\\: a clumsy ophthalmologist<\/p>\n

Heroes \\hee’-rhos\\: what a guy in a boat does<\/p>\n

Left Bank \\left’ bangk’\\: what the robber did when his bag was full of loot<\/p>\n

Misty \\mis’-tee\\: How golfers create divots<\/p>\n

Paradox \\par’-u-doks\\: two physicians<\/p>\n

Parasites \\par’-uh-sites\\: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.<\/p>\n

Pharmacist \\farm’-uh-sist\\: a helper on the farm<\/p>\n

Polarize \\po’-lur-ize\\: what penguins see with<\/p>\n

Primate \\pri’-mat\\: removing your spouse from in front of the TV<\/p>\n

Relief \\ree-leef’\\: what trees do in the spring<\/p>\n

Rubberneck \\rub’-er-nek\\: what you do to relax your wife<\/p>\n

Seamstress \\seem’-stres\\: describes 250 pounds in a size six<\/p>\n

Selfish \\sel’-fish\\: what the owner of a seafood store does<\/p>\n

Subdued \\sub-dood’\\: like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man<\/p>\n

Sudafed \\sood’-a-fed\\: bringing litigation against a government official<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Alternate Definitions Arbitrator \\ar’-bi-tray-ter\\: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s. Avoidable \\uh-voy’-duh-buhl\\: What a bullfighter tries to do. Baloney \\buh-lo’-nee\\: Where some hemlines fall Bernadette \\burn’-a-det\\: The act of torching a mortgage…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[91],"tags":[28],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1906"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1906"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1906\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1906"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1906"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1906"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}