{"id":4708,"date":"2011-09-09T07:04:45","date_gmt":"2011-09-09T14:04:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/?p=4708"},"modified":"2011-09-09T07:04:45","modified_gmt":"2011-09-09T14:04:45","slug":"a-hero-a-tragedy-and-a-father%e2%80%99s-love-part-6-in-a-series","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/?p=4708","title":{"rendered":"A Hero, A Tragedy, and A Father\u2019s Love, Part 6 in a Series"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

Message in ash written by John V. Napolitano, Sr. at World Trade Center on 9\/12\/01<\/p><\/div>\n

Reposted Sept. 9, 2011 –\u00a0Sixth in a series of articles reflecting on the events of 9\/11\/01 and the five years that have elapsed since, through the words of one victim\u2019s father<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

By Bill Coburn and John V. Napolitano, Sr.<\/p>\n

In this continuing series, I told you about having traveled to Colorado Springs with members of my family to join my firefighter brother at the memorial for the fallen firefighters of 2001, including the 343 who died at the World Trade Center.\u00a0 I introduced you to Lt. John P. Napolitano, through a letter written by his father in January of 2002, which had been displayed at the memorial.\u00a0 In the second article, I brought you a letter that John\u2019s dad, John Napolitano, Sr., had written to me after he discovered a section of my website that discussed his son.\u00a0 In these articles, we\u2019ve taken a look at the world of a father who lost his son, and the emotions that have played a part in his life since then.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Here, in John Napolitano Sr.\u2019s own words, are his memories of the tragic day and those following it, and his thoughts as we approach the fifth anniversary of Sept. 11, 2001.\u00a0 Next week\u2019s column, the last in the series, will be John Napolitano Sr.\u2019s first hand account of the fifth anniversary ceremony at Ground Zero.<\/p>\n

Dear Bill:<\/p>\n

As we approach the fifth anniversary of that terrible day in September, I would like to take the time to thank everyone who has reached out to the Family of Lieutenant John P. Napolitano and let us know that you have taken him into your Heart, and that you will always remember and honor his sacrifice. \u00a0People like Sgt. Brian McDonaugh from the New York City Police Department, and his wife Beth. \u00a0At \u201cGround Zero\u201d, Sgt. McDonaugh saw a message written in the ashes by a father searching for his missing firefighter son… \u201cRescue 2 John Napolitano I\u2019m here and I love you Dad\u201d.. Sgt. Mc Donaugh, a father himself, was so moved by what he saw, that he wrote it down word for word so that, as he later said…\u201cI wouldn\u2019t forget\u201d. \u00a0Later that evening when he got home, he showed his wife Beth what he saw, and together they cried. \u00a0Later Beth and her husband contacted me and told me that they will always keep a picture of my son, and tell their children about him, and that they will always honor him, and I know that they will.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

John Napolitano, Sr. with John, Jr.'s two daughters, photo courtesy of John Napolitano, Sr.<\/p><\/div>\n

And then there is the Thurston family from Colorado, who at the 2002 Ceremony for Fallen Firefighters promised me that they will always \u201clook after\u201d my Son, and they have.\u00a0 Every 4th<\/sup> of July, John\u2019s birthday, every Thanksgiving, every Christmas, and every 9\/11 anniversary, they go to the Memorial Wall, where my son\u2019s name is etched, and they leave a heartfelt card.\u00a0 Mrs. Bietler from Pennsylvania, who proudly wears a Memorial Bracelet that says \u201c LT. JOHN P NAPOLITANO FDNY RESCUE 2\u00a0 9\/11\/2001\u201d. \u00a0Captain Jeff Pennington, from the Gilbert Fire Department, Gilbert, AZ, and his family, who did a study of John and bonded with a brother firefighter that he never met\u2026Captain Jeff and his family, at their own expense, came to New York to attend a ceremony honoring John, the re-naming of a county road to \u201cLt. John P. Napolitano Parkway\u201d. \u00a0Captain Jeff still calls me from time to time to see how I\u2019m doing, and even came to my home to spend a couple of days with me.\u00a0 Once while visiting with the guys at Rescue 2, Captain Jeff and I went on two \u201ccalls\u201d with them. \u00a0Captain Jeff was thrilled and beaming from ear to ear. As I rode in the rig I could feel the presence of my son…and I know that he smiled on us.<\/p>\n

And then from Sierra Madre, California, there is you Bill, who have embraced my son and kept his memory alive.. I thank all of you, and on September 11 when I make my pilgrimage to the World Trade Center, my thoughts will also be of all of you, because I know that on that day, that you mourn also. \u00a0But I wish to ask of you just one thing, which I will ask in closing.<\/p>\n

Recently here in New York there was a dedication to the 343 fallen FDNY firefighters, and one volunteer firefighter, it is an approximately 10 feet high, and 60 feet long bronze sculpture of firefighters and the events of 9\/11.\u00a0 The Memorial is attached to the wall of \u201c10\u201d Company, the firehouse across the street from the World Trade Center. \u00a0When I was talking to my daughter-in-law, Ann, about going to the ceremony, and knowing that she wouldn\u2019t be up to it, her and my son\u2019s youngest daughter, Emma Rose, piped up and said \u201cI want to see where Daddy was\u201d.\u00a0 We were at a school concert.\u00a0 Elizabeth who now \u201cplays\u201d the violin was in the orchestra. \u00a0Ann asked Emma if she was sure about going, and she said that she was. \u00a0Ann looked at me to see if I was up for it. I really wasn\u2019t…but I said that it would be okay. \u00a0When Elizabeth joined us Ann and I asked her if she wanted to go, and she did. \u00a0I knew that this day was going to come.\u00a0 I was going to take my son\u2019s \u201clittle\u201d girls to Ground Zero.<\/p>\n

My best friend Lenny, who was always with me those days in September, as we searched for my son, and his (Lenny\u2019s) brother John, would also go to the ceremony, and bring his daughter Christina. \u00a0We arrived early that day, parked the car and secured our seats, Firefighters were setting up for the Ceremony, speakers and equipment were being tested for those that would present speeches this day, Lenny and I, as we always do when we are at the Trade Center, were reminiscing. \u00a0My mind was also elsewhere.\u00a0 I walked to where my granddaughters were sitting.. They\u2019re getting so big I thought and so beautiful. \u00a0They were talking to Christina and smiling. \u00a0Now to take their smiles away. \u00a0I asked them if they were ready to hear about their Daddy…and others. They said that they were. \u00a0I told Christina that we would be back; I gave Lenny a silent nod. \u00a0This one time my good friend would not be at my side. \u00a0We were each others rock those dark days, but today the rock that I would lean on would be my son.<\/p>\n

I placed my hands on my Granddaughter\u2019s shoulders and guided them towards what had changed their lives forever. \u00a0As we walked along the security fence to an area where only family members and Authorized Personnel are permitted, the girls were looking at what seems to be a big hole left by some catastrophic meteor.\u00a0 I showed my ID to security, and they opened the large gate and let us in. \u00a0Once inside this secure area you are struck by the sight of all that has been placed there, from beat-up teddy bears, to badges, firefighter and police shirts, a helmet of a British \u201cbobby\u201d\u2026notes and photographs, of loved ones of the missing. \u00a0Things that were placed at \u201cGround Zero\u201d.\u00a0 Things that say \u201cI Will Never Forget\u201d. \u00a0Things that say \u201cI Love You\u201d..<\/p>\n

I took the girls to where you can see the whole \u201csite\u201d, to where the Towers used to be.\u00a0 I pointed to where the South Tower once was, and I told them that is where \u201cUncle Glen\u201d (Police Officer Glen Pettit), \u201cUncle Pete\u201d (Firefighter Peter Brennan), and \u201cUncle Billy\u201d (Firefighter William Mahoney), and their \u201cPop Pop\u2019s\u201d good friend John, (Lt. John Crisci) was. \u00a0And I gave them a moment to reflect.\u00a0 I pointed to where the North Tower once stood, and I said to the girls \u201cThat is where your Daddy was\u201d. \u00a0I explained to them as was told to me by an eyewitness\u2026How the Rescue 2 rig came through the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel and up West Street.. Of how the seven members of Rescue 2 geared up for battle, looked up at the enemy before them, and with no fear, but armed with Professionalism, Compassion and Courage, and with a look of Determination on their faces, paused only to give each other knowing glances\u2026and strode into the North Tower to save lives.<\/p>\n

Elizabeth and Emma listened to every word, but looked straight ahead, looking at what is no longer there. Their father, his helmet black, his black protective coat, burned and covered with soot. \u00a0Is this what they saw? \u00a0Or did they see their Daddy in his shining armor? \u00a0I explained to them that their Daddy went into Battle that day thinking of them, and their mommy\u2026of his mother and me, and his sisters\u2026of all of us. And that he was an excellent firefighter, and that he would do all that he could, use all his skill and courage to beat the enemy. To save all the other Mommies and Daddies. \u00a0And that he didn\u2019t want to leave us. \u00a0But there was one enemy that he did not know about, and this enemy could not be beat…this enemy was time.<\/p>\n

Elizabeth and Emma didn\u2019t ask any questions. \u00a0They stared at the nothingness. Whatever thoughts they had, I know that when they are ready they will ask. I told them that the Ceremony was about to begin and that we should go. \u00a0We left through the Security Gate from which we entered, and along the fence that surrounds \u201cGround Zero\u201d, I stood between them holding them by the hand, and as we were walking, both Elizabeth and Emma, at the same time, looked over their shoulder, at where the North Tower once stood, and I wondered, was it for a hopeful one last look at their Dad? \u00a0I looked straight ahead, putting on my sunglasses…like I did so many times when I was with Lenny, leaving the \u201cPit\u201d…not wanting anyone to see the tears.<\/p>\n

I have recently volunteered to devote some time with Tribute New York City. \u00a0It consists of people impacted by 9\/11 who share their experiences with those who come to the World Trade Center to reflect and pay their respects. Some are survivors who escaped the Towers, some are family members, or rescue workers, or rescue workers who were fathers searching for their sons. \u00a0I went on three tours so far, and it is very hard on me, the last tour were members of the press. \u00a0I was asked by a reporter why do I do this, and does time heal some wounds, and I told him that I would explain during the tour, when I am introduced. The tour guide started our walk around the World Trade Center describing the buildings and the building process, as we walked she explained the events of the day, where the planes came from, what floors were impacted, the response from firefighters, and police officers and EMT\u2019s. We walk to the World Financial Center, and the Tour Guide this day talks about her cousin who worked for Cantor Fitzgerald, and she speaks of his family..\u00a0 then she introduces me.<\/p>\n

The group looks at me like they know that they are going to hear some important things. \u00a0It is going to be more than what they expected.\u00a0 I tell them what I do for a living, but that I was once a cop who worked in Brooklyn, I tell them that my son was a firefighter assigned to Rescue 2, and how on September 11, 2001 my son was scheduled to be off.\u00a0 Of walking into one of the stores that I supervise, walking to the back loading area and being asked \u201cWhat are you doing here? \u00a0Don\u2019t you know they\u2019re calling for cops, and ex-cops? We\u2019re being attacked.\u201d \u00a0This is how I found out about the Towers being hit. \u00a0The South Tower collapses. I tell them how I keep on trying to call my son, I knew that he would be going, I wanted to tell him to be careful.. not to be a hero. \u00a0His phone was busy. I keep on trying, still busy. \u00a0I call my house, I tell my wife that \u201cI can\u2019t get through to Johnny\u201d…she is crying, she tells me that it is Ann on the phone, that Johnny worked last night…somebody switched with him. That he is already there.\u00a0 I try to get into the City but can\u2019t, I decide to head home…figure something out.. find out what is going on.\u00a0 The North Tower comes down\u2026my son is not in there…no way. \u00a0He has people safe somewhere…I know this\u2026he is an excellent firefighter.<\/p>\n

I arrive at my son\u2019s house first.\u00a0 \u00a0Ann is sitting on the couch surrounded by her and my son\u2019s friends…a tearful smile as she sees me\u2026the girls going on 3 and 6 quietly playing. \u00a0Ann tells me there is no word. \u00a0I tell her not to worry, everything will be alright.\u00a0 I go to my home a little more than a mile away. \u00a0My wife sitting, a blank look on her face, her sister next to her crying, my brother-in-law Cono looking worried. \u201cListen everybody\u2026everything will be okay.\u201d\u00a0 I go back and forth from my house to my son\u2019s. \u00a0It\u2019s getting late, traffic should be better, I start to head into the City, Cono wants to come with me. \u00a0We don\u2019t get far. His cell phone rings. \u00a0Cono tells me to turn around and head home. I ask him\u2026\u201cis my Son gone?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cNo\u201d he says. \u201cDiane is excited, she said to come right home.\u201d I race\u2026through stop signs, through red lights. Cautiously, but quickly, like I was driving a radio car. I run into my house. \u00a0My wife is sitting on the floor, she is being held by her sister Diane, and over and over again my wife is saying.. \u201cMy Baby.. My Baby\u201d\u2026 \u201cNo\u201d.. \u201cNo\u201d\u2026 I hear this in my mind every day. \u00a0I tell this to my group\u2026 I tell them how a woman carries a child inside of her\u2026is the first person to love that child\u2026Is the first person to suffer for that child. \u00a0The child grows up\u2026gets married\u2026has children.. But that child never stops being the mother\u2019s baby..<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Lt. John P. Napolitano, Jr. in 1978, photo courtesy of John Napolitano, Sr.<\/p><\/div>\n

I get through to Rescue 2, they tell me that John and every member of Rescue 2 is missing. I tell them that \u201cI\u2019m an ex-cop, to give it to me straight\u2026Should I expect the worst?\u201d\u00a0 They tell me that I should stay close to Ann and his mother. \u00a0That they don\u2019t know where everybody is, that John could be trapped.\u00a0 I go to Ann\u2019s house\u2026Her and John\u2019s friends are still there, the girls won\u2019t go to sleep because Daddy didn\u2019t call yet\u2026He always does when he works nights. I asked Ann if she got any other word, she takes me aside and said.. \u201cDad, Glen, Pete, and Billy are missing too\u201d. I feel my knees buckle, but I have to keep a positive look.\u00a0 \u201c Don\u2019t worry Ann.. Everybody could be working, and they don\u2019t know where they are…you\u2019ll see\u201d.\u00a0 I go home it\u2019s early morning. I call my best friend Lenny. \u00a0His brother John is missing. Lenny and I leave for the World Trade Center.<\/p>\n

I tell the group that Lenny and I go to a Brooklyn precinct, and they help us into Manhattan, we piggy back rides with different police officers, and hook up with the Fire Department, and Lenny and I arrive at the belly of the devastation. \u00a0We walk through the Winter Garden Restaurant area. \u00a0We look up at shards of hanging glass 150 feet above our heads\u2026the floor turning to mud from all the ash mixing with water.. Ash from the World Trade Center.. And in time realizing some of the ash…is from people. \u00a0We walk outside and onto West Street .. twisted steel is everywhere\u2026some of it reaching up like fingers\u2026smoke rising. And gray ash like fresh fallen snow covering everything.\u00a0 The sounds of alarms from firefighters not moving\u2026a shrill piercing sound\u2026so many…spots of red that were once people.<\/p>\n

I tell the group of moving debris a bucket at a time. \u00a0Of someone thinking that I was a \u201cFed\u201d and giving me a piece of the skin from a plane. \u00a0I found a \u201cFed\u201d and gave it to him. \u00a0I climb on steel not knowing where to look, feeling heat from the fires below. \u00a0Calling my son\u2019s name in the dark\u2026listening\u2026listening. \u00a0Nothing. \u00a0Lenny and I asking firefighters did they know anything about Glen Pettit\u2026Pete Brennan…Billy Mahoney\u2026John Crisci\u2026John Napolitano. The sadness in their eyes. \u00a0I write a message to my Son, in the ash…still warm…\u201cRescue 2 John Napolitano I\u2019m here and I love you Dad\u201d.<\/p>\n

I tell them how I said to Lenny that if I can find my son\u2019s truck… \u201cmaybe I can find him\u201d.. then I see what looks like a rescue truck.\u00a0 I climb, run, over the steel, Lenny following. \u00a0It\u2019s a ladder company truck, almost broken in two, I say to Lenny…\u201cthere might be firemen here\u201d\u2026and as we look\u2026we see under a steel beam a young woman.\u00a0 She is dead, the beam across her head. \u00a0She is wearing a sundress, and she is covered with that gray ash, except for a small patch of blue from her dress. \u00a0I have two daughters, and as I looked at this Sweet Angel, I thought that this was somebody\u2019s \u201cDaddy\u2019s Little Girl\u201d.. and could she be a young mother and back home her baby is missing her and crying for her.\u00a0 Which one of the many \u201cmissing\u201d posters was she? \u00a0This baby did not deserve to die this way. \u00a0Lenny and I made a Cross out of the debris, and prayed for her\u2026and for her family, we loved her.\u00a0 I alerted some passing rescue workers of this young girl\u2026and moved on.\u00a0 Whenever I think of my Son, I think of her\u2026that is the way it should be.<\/p>\n

I tell my group about the messages written back to me, from firefighters, police officers, and other rescue workers.\u00a0 \u201cMr. Napolitano I know John.\u00a0 If anyone could get out of this…he can..\u201d.. \u201cMr. Nap don\u2019t give up hope.\u201d \u201cBravo Company was here.\u201d\u00a0 Lenny and I stood and saw the dead and what was left of the dead being removed. In the days that followed, Lenny and I would go down there with renewed hope. Today I will find my Son. He will climb out of some hole that nobody thought to look. \u00a0His helmet and coat will be covered with that gray ash, his face will be dirty.. but he will be alive. \u00a0And I will dust him off, and wipe his face, and I will hug him, and I will bring him home to his girls. \u00a0\u201cC\u2019mon Johnny, lets go home, your wife and your daughters are waiting\u2026your sisters too\u2026And your Mother is worried.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

I tell my group about the day that they found Lt. John Crisci, the day they found police officer Glen Pettit, the day they found firefighter William Mahoney\u2026that still missing is Firefighter Peter Brennan, and still missing is my Son\u2026Lt. John P Napolitano.<\/p>\n

I also tell them about John\u2019s Journey, how he was so good all his life, not only a good son, but a good student, and a good friend, how he would walk to school and home from school a schoolmate that was overweight, to make sure that no one picked on her.\u00a0 How he helped other kids in the neighborhood with their schoolwork, always with a smile, the young man who decided to devote his life to helping others.\u00a0 How he inspired others not only to being a good firefighter, but to being a good husband and dad. \u00a0I tell them about the 5 year old girl whose life he saved, the daughter of a firefighter. \u00a0I tell them of him crawling about in a collapsing building saving trapped firefighters.\u00a0 I tell them of one of those firefighters dying with John on September 11, 2001.\u00a0 I tell them of all the good things that John has done to be a better person to help others achieve their goals. My son\u2019s journey may have been short. But it was magnificent…and in seeing all the pages of my son\u2019s life he has made my journey magnificent.<\/p>\n

Back home, Ann had to tell Elizabeth and Emma about their father. \u00a0They thought that they had done something wrong because it had been a long time and\u2026\u201cDaddy didn\u2019t call\u201d.\u00a0 Ann told them, as best she could to a 3 year old and a 6 year old, about bad people hurting other people, and how their Daddy went to save some other little girls, and little boys, mommies and daddies, but that he couldn\u2019t save them all, and that\u2026 he couldn\u2019t save himself. \u00a0That they will not see their Daddy anymore\u2026because he is in Heaven. \u00a0Emma and Elizabeth cried, their little hearts, so filled with love for their Father, broken. \u00a0Ann hugged them and told them, to never forget that although they had their Daddy for a short time, that they had\u2026the very best Daddy.<\/p>\n

Those early months, I would have the Honor from time to time to baby-sit for my son\u2019s little girls. \u00a0They were so much like him. \u00a0Emma kind of bold\u2026a sense of humor…Elizabeth, thoughtful, a quiet sensitivity. And a love to draw\u2026 I would watch them and see my son. \u00a0Emma would point at my son\u2019s pictures and say.. \u201cThat\u2019s my Daddy\u201d and I would say \u201cThat\u2019s right.. that\u2019s your Daddy\u201d.. Elizabeth would sit quietly and draw. \u00a0One day Elizabeth drew something and went into my son\u2019s old bedroom, when I went in there to see what it was, I saw laying on his dresser was a drawing of a little girl with golden hair and written on the drawing were the words\u2026\u201cDaddy I Love You\u201d..<\/p>\n

History says that my Son was a Hero because he died saving lives…I say that my Son was a Hero… because he LIVED<\/strong> to save lives.<\/p>\n

My answer to the reporter as to why I do this admittedly painful tour was this\u2026that if talking about my son can in some way make others want to be like him, and if more and more people live his life, than maybe… just maybe, we can be a better World and stop killing each other, and have for an enemy a common enemy of sickness and disease, and not each other, so no other Father has to look for his son\u2026in the shadows.<\/p>\n

As for time being a healer, I explained to this reporter that time is a relentless enemy, that I miss my Son more, every second, of every hour, of every day\u2026That I don\u2019t need the anniversary of 9\/11 to feel the pain.\u00a0 I see 9\/11 every day and will do so till the day I die. \u00a0I also feel that if feeling less pain means to have less memory of my Son, I say this: bring the pain on and times it by infinity, because it is no price at all to pay for the Son that I have.<\/p>\n

And that one thing that I was going to ask you, and those who Honor John, is this: When you speak of Lieutenant John P. Napolitano, do not dwell so much on his Courage that day in September, or the tragic way that he died, but rather, remember always\u2026the Heroic way that he Lived..<\/p>\n

Sincerely,<\/p>\n

John Napolitano, Father of Lt John P Napolitano, F.D.N.Y. Rescue 2<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Reposted Sept. 9, 2011 –\u00a0Sixth in a series of articles reflecting on the events of 9\/11\/01 and the five years that have elapsed since, through the words of one victim\u2019s father\u00a0 By Bill Coburn and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[40],"tags":[120,121],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4708"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4708"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4708\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4708"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4708"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sierramadrenews.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4708"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}