joke of the day

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Joke of the Day, May 27th, 2011

Alternate Definitions Arbitrator \ar’-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s. Avoidable \uh-voy’-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do. Baloney \buh-lo’-nee\: Where some hemlines fall Bernadette \burn’-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage…


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Joke of the Day, May 26th, 2011

Women believe if a pet cat strays, it’s because of a lack of affection at home. Women believe if a pet dog strays, it’s because of a lack of affection at home. Women believe if…



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Joke of the Day, May 22nd, 2011

When Mr. Wilkins answered the door late in the evening one day after he’d lost his wife while scuba diving, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen. “We’re sorry to call on you at this…


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Joke of the Day, May 21, 2011

For a holiday, Mulvaney decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a…


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Joke of the Day, May 20th, 2012

>I used to be a nun, but I got expelled because of my dirty habits. >I wanted to be a transplant surgeon, but my heart just wasn’t in it. >Had to fire my masseuse today….


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Joke of the Day, May 19, 2011

I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up…


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Joke of the Day, May 18, 2011

Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything, tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything that they could think of Finally in a last ditch effort, they took…




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Joke of the Day, May 15th, 2011

A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.  The barman refuses to serve him. “Why not,” asks the golf club.  “You’ll be driving later,” replies the…


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Joke of the Day, May 14th, 2011

 A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill…


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Joke of the Day, May 13th, 2011

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them. First Bull: “Boys, we all know I’ve been…


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Joke of the Day, May 12, 2011

A man bought several acres of wasteland and within a year, turned it into a thriving produce farm. The local pastor stopped by and complimented the man on his vast progress.   Then he added, “Wondrous…