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Random Observations by Pat Ostrye Children With Dysfunctional Parents! Run-of-the-mill writers, including me, have a compulsion to put words on paper, whatever the subject, so here go a few observations of mine where children are the victims of dysfunctional parents. I have seven adult children; hopefully, I have learned a few things along the way, considering that parenting is definitely on-the-job training. Very often I wished we had had parenting training in my day. However, it is my belief that the average parent does what has to be done at a particular moment, with whatever knowledge or expertise he/she has, trying only to be a parent, not a best friend. Now, take the three teen-age daughters of New York Governor Spitzer, for example. There seems to have been no thought for these young ladies or his wife during those years of his hypocritical stance on and prosecution of prostitution rings, ending with his spending the atrocious sum of $80,000, self destructing in that same disgusting mire he claimed to oppose. Our seven offspring were positively fragmented over the death of their father twenty years ago, the youngest being 28 at the time, but they have the consolation that they will never be tormented with such disconsolate memories that Spitzer's three can hardly escape. Imagine: These three spent their early years being thrilled with the concerted effort their father, as Attorney General for the State of New York, put forth to end that disgusting behavior among followers of prostitution rings. Then, what could be more thrilling than to see your father become Governor of the State?! Now, how do these young people face his infidelity to their mother and to them, plus the utter humiliation of it all among their friends and relatives?! My late husband was a teacher and witnessed many unhappy, disoriented children who would tell him of their terrible home life and the cold war, so to speak, between their parents. If only these parents would take a minute to stop and think how heart-breaking it is for children to concentrate on school work and the ordinary plight of living when there is such unhappiness and dissention at home. They can think of nothing else. For what do these powerful and seemingly successful men betray the family faith and trust?! At what point does this twisted sense of values take over, even if "everybody's doing it"?! For me, "sorry" is nothing! I could never blithely accept such betrayal, then treat the situation like just another day. In my opinion, Governor Spitzer should be given, now and forever, the same well-planned non-consideration that he has had for his family, friends and even coworkers! Let him dig his way out of this trench, solo! |
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